


Human-Beans: The Good and The Bad

by Peter_Rabbit



Series: Tumblr Prompts [10]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), The Borrowers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Borrowers Fusion, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Borrower Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Borrower Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Borrower Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Borrower Deceit | Janus Sanders, Borrower Logic | Logan Sanders, Borrower Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Gross, Death Threats, Face Punching, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kid Logic | Logan Sanders, M/M, Parent Deceit | Janus Sanders, Parent Morality | Patton Sanders, Remy is a bad person to borrowers, Sympathetic Sides (Sanders Sides), Threats towards Kids, Unsympathetic Sleep | Remy Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peter_Rabbit/pseuds/Peter_Rabbit
Summary: Patton and Janus have been raising their little family in the walls of one Thomas Sanders's House for a while now without a single hiccup, especially for how many of them their were. That is until the kids stay out a little longer then usual and get caught by Thomas's dicky boyfriend, Remy.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Thomas Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Series: Tumblr Prompts [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1627195
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	Human-Beans: The Good and The Bad

There had always been worry on Patton’s part for their children. It was a miracle at all the four had survived long enough for Patton and him to find them, especially since it was obvious only the twins had just gone through the basic training before their mother had passed. However, after a few years of proper training the twins and Logan were now fully capable of borrowing by themselves, given that they had a good look out. Virgil came in handy for that, despite his younger age. Patton hadn’t liked it at first but Janus had easily noticed Virgil’s abilities in picking up every little change in a room, and since the kid was too scared to actually go out in the open but refused to leave his siblings alone for more than ten minutes it was the perfect compromise. 

The four were out now, the humans not supposed to be home for another hour. That time was quickly dwindling though, and there had been no signs of their boys coming back. Patton had taken to pacing the living room in worry as Janus sat on their makeshift couch, following his husband’s movements. “They’re late,” Patton muttered, looking to him with large, watery eyes, “Do you think something happened?”

He softened at the sight, standing and pulling his husband into his arms, “Oh dear, of course they’re alright. In fact, they told me they were going to switch up their roles today, I do think Roman and Remus would make the better look outs, don’t you?”

Patton laughed softly and buried his head into Janus’s shoulder, “That’s not funny! They better not have, or they’re in so much trouble. I love those boys but Roman and Remus can not keep a good look out to save their lives.”

“Oh, I’m being completely serious, Patton,” he answered with a smirk, “I also heard Virgil was going to try hook climbing all by himself today, as well.”

“Stop!” Patton couldn’t help but laugh guiltily at the idea of Virgil climbing a hook. The poor kid was terrified of heights- it usually was a fear that had to be overcome as a borrower, but Patton couldn’t bring himself to force Virgil out of it and he really hadn’t seen a reason to enforce it when Virgil was a perfect look out anyway. 

“It’s just the truth,” He teased, twirling Patton around before leading him in a slow dance.

Patton quickly fell into step with him, humming their song as they stepped slowly around the living room. After a moment he asked, “If they all switched then what is our little Logie trying out today?”

“You know he hates it when you call him that,” He replied to buy him some time. He thought for something that their Logan would never do on a borrowing trip, “But, I do think he whispered to Virgil as they walked out the door that he was going to try and write a letter to the beans, you know, to ask them for assistance in retrieving borrowings.”

Patton gasped and punched his arm, albeit not very hard, “Don’t even joke about that, mister! You know I’m already worried!”

He chuckled as he pulled Patton closer again, “Apologies, dear. They are likely on their way back now, they know better than to stay out past four o’clock.”

“They better be,” Patton huffed as he kissed Janus, “You’re forgiven, by the way.”

“I was so worried,” He purred and leaned in for a longer kiss. A part of him wished their kids would walk in right now, so he could watch his lovely husband’s face turn red as they all made dramatic gagging noises.

Their kids, however, did not walk through the door then. The four were still out on their borrowing trip, despite Virgil’s loud protests (the only time he allowed himself to be loud was yelling at his older brothers when the humans weren’t home).

“Guys! We were supposed to leave before four!” He flung his arms towards the clock on the stove, “It is four twenty-three!”

“Oh, calm down, spoil sport-”

“Yeah! Calm down, fearful feces!”

“Remus! That’s gross!”

“But accurate!” Remus cackled as Roman shoved him into the drawer they had been rummaging through. Logan was standing nearby to take the items and make sure that if they both fell in he could help them out.

“As I was saying-” Roman continued, scooting away from the drawer as Remus’s hand popped out from it like a demon, trying to grab his leg and pull him in, “There’s no need to worry because the beans are never home before five twenty.”

Virgil shifted on his feet, “But Dads said-”

“Teenage rebellion is good for the soul,” Roman cut him off.

Logan scoffed, “Perhaps for human-beans, but borrower teens could get their families caught if they’re not careful. I am in agreement with Virgil on this one. So please get Remus out of the drawer so we can make our departure.”

“I’m not touching him! He’ll pull me in!” Roman protested.

“Well, then you shouldn’t have pushed him!” Virgil shouted back.

“I’ll get him,” Logan sighed and walked past Roman to pull Remus out of the drawer. 

“No wait! I can do it!” Remus shouted. They all watched the drawer as Remus jumped up and grabbed the counter, he scrambled against the smooth surface in an attempt to gain purchase, failing mostly.

Roman snickered as Logan rolled his eyes and went to help him. Virgil’s attention, however, had swiftly switched from his brothers to the back door in the kitchen. The humans were home- they were opening the door. He could see them through the little panel glass window as they chatted and laughed as one of them, Thomas, he vaguely remembers the name, was pushing the door open. Why were they an hour early? He hadn’t been paying attention enough to hear them approaching and now they smack dab in the middle of the counter and the humans were going to see them aND HE WASN’T DOING ANYTHING.

The door was open before he finally called out, “Guys! The beans!”

Logan and Roman looked up startled and he could see the color draining from both their faces. Roman rushed forward to help Logan pull Remus out of the drawer, but it was too late, Thomas had already spotted them and the other (Remy, the thinks) was close behind, “What the...”

“Virgil run!” Logan hissed as quietly as he could as they finally managed to pull Remus out and were scrambling to get back up and run towards him. He didn’t think twice before turning on his heels and darting into the entrance he was standing by. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as he waited just inside for his brothers to follow him in-

“Hey wait-!” “Remy, don’t hurt them!” “I’m not- Got’cha! -I’m not gonna hurt them, babe.”

Virgil’s breath hitched and he peeked out the entrance, nearly getting smacked by Logan as he ran in before grabbing Virgil’s arm and dragged him away from the hole by a few inches. A second later some very large fingers poked through the hole, just an inch short of them as they curled and stretched in an attempt to grab them.

Once they pulled out Logan’s shoulders dropped. “We have to get Dad and Pa,” he whispered, backing up a step before he turned to go down the tunnel.

Virgil didn’t take his eyes off the entrance, “Where are Remus and Roman?”

“Virgil, we have to get Dad and Pa, they’ll be able to help,” Logan pushed, not answering.

“Where-” Virgil repeated, his voice lowering to a growl as he turned his head to glare at Logan, “Are Remus and Roman?”

Logan didn’t look at him, “Please, we have to go.”

“You can’t be serious! They’re out there with the human-beans right now! Probably being tortured or hurt or-”

Logan cut him off by slapping a hand over his mouth, “Be quiet! They’re right there, Virgil. We can’t do anything. We have to get Dad and Pa so they can think of a way to free them both without anyone else getting caught.”

Virgil growled and shoved Logan off of him. “Fine. But I’m staying here and keeping a look out.”

“It won’t help anything now,” Logan snapped. His expression immediately drooped as Virgil’s wide eyes filled with tears, “V, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

There was a sharp smack and feet shuffling as Logan stumbled back, clutching his jaw. Virgil’s hand was balled in a fist in front of him as his chest heaved, “I’m staying. You go and get Dad and Pa yourself.”

Logan nodded, not wanting to push this any further and end up in a fight. “Follow the rules: don’t be seen, don’t get caught, don’t speak to them.”

“I’m not stupid,” Virgil answered, “Just go.”

Logan nodded again before he turned and sprinted through the walls towards their home. He watched him for a moment before slowly scooting over to the door and peeking out. The two humans were still in the kitchen. Remy had his fingers wrapped around Roman as he struggled to pry the appendages away from him. Virgil didn’t see Remus with either of the humans and he tried not to let his mind go to the worst case scenario until he spotted the other twin already trapped in a jar on the counter. He was banging on it profusely, for once his mouth sealed shut as he glared up at the humans. 

“I really think you should just put him down for now,” Thomas said as Virgil tuned into the conversation.

“Nu-uh, not until I get some answers, my favorite earbuds disappear and not even a week ago and then there are these little guys running around? Coincidence? Uh- No gurl. This is a little thief and I wanna hear his take on the story.”

“We don’t even know if they can understand us. Let’s make sure you don’t scare him to death before-”

“Oh no! This little guy can understand me- Can’t you babe? -He’s just trying to make us think he can’t so we can’t interrogate the heck out of him, but I know his game, I’ve pretended to only know Polish to get out of several speeding tickets.”

“What would he even need your headphones for, Rems? I doubt he has a phone.”

“I bet he does!” Remy exclaimed, “Bet they got a whole stash of ‘em hidden in the walls, bet they stole our old chargers too!”

“Is scaring them like this really necessary to figure that out?” Thomas pressed, “Why don’t you just put these two together for right now and we’ll ask them when we’ve all calmed down.”

Remy glanced at Remus and then back at Roman before a sick smirk pulled at his lips, “Oh, I have a better idea.” He grabbed the jar with his other hand and stepped over to the sink. He adjusted his grip on Roman so he was dangling by his shirt, Roman thrashing and kicking. “Here’s the play babes, one of you start talking or the prince doll here takes a dip down the garbage disposal.”

“Remy!” Thomas shouted as he rushed forward to take Roman out of his hand. 

Virgil, in an impulsive decision not to let anyone die, sprinted across the counter, “Please, don’t hurt them! I’ll do anything!” He stopped just short of the sink, looking up at Remy with giant tears streaming down his face, “Please, don’t hurt my big brothers. Don’t- Don’t hurt Roman, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

He could see the pale faces of the twins as they looked between each other, the humans and him. Remy was staring down at him with his mouth agape as Thomas quickly took Roman out of his hand and held him close to his chest, “Now you’ve done it.”

“I didn’t know there was a little kid watching!” Remy exclaimed, “You know I wasn’t actually gonna drop him!”

“They’re four inches tall and can’t fight back, you’re being a bully,” Thomas said as he set Roman down next to Virgil, “Sorry for that kiddo, here’s your brother back.”

Virgil immediately surged forward and wrapped his arms around Roman’s waist, tears making a wet spot on his white tunic, “You broke the rules: No getting caught.”

Roman couldn’t help but smile as tears dripped down his cheeks, “I think you broke a few more rules than me, Stormcloud.”

“I’m not being a bully. Look, I can be nice,” Remy said and scooped him and Roman up into his hands, causing them both to cry out and look up at him in panic. Remy spread his hand out flat so they were sitting in his palm, Virgil was clutching onto Roman’s shirt tightly, his eyes closed tight as he tried desperately not to think about the distance from Remy’s hand to the ground. Roman had his arm wrapped around his younger brother, muscles tense.

“Remy, put them down!” Thomas snapped.

“Relax, I’m very responsible,” Remy replied.

Thomas glared at him, “You are not.”

Remy scoffed and looked down at the two, “Hey babes, I’m sorry for being a nasty but those earbuds were like fifty bucks and I kinda need them back.”

“Goodness gracious,” Thomas hissed, “Your earbuds are not more important than their emotions. Just put them down and let them go.”

“Did you miss the part where I said they were fifty bucks?” Remy looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

“We don’t have them,” Virgil spoke softly.

Remy looked back down at him, “What was that?”

“We. Don’t. Have. Them.” He pulled away from Roman and sneered at Remy, “We’re not stupid enough to take your stupid headphones. They’re probably under your dresser you fricking beanjuice addict.”

“Virgil!” Roman hissed and pulled him closer to his person, keeping a tight grip on him in case Remy took offense to the insult and tried to do something to him. As he did Virgil got a glance over the side of Remy’s hand and his breath caught in his throat as he buried his face in Roman’s tunic again.

Remy blinked before chuckling, “Alright, kid’s got spunk. Let’s test your little theory then.” He cupped the two borrowers so they wouldn’t fall off his hand and headed to the bedroom.

“No! Wait!” Remus called, pounding harder on the glass and giving up on the no talking rule, “Get back here you shit-filled butthole, dick brain!”

“Remy-” Thomas tried but sighed as Remy was already walking away. Virgil watched him follow them to the bedroom. “Remy you’re taking this too far. What if they’re not behind the dresser?”

Remy entered the bedroom and set the two on the desk before going to move the dresser, “Then pipsqueak’s gonna give me someplace else to look, and we’re gonna keep looking until he finally fesses up to stealing them.”

“We didn’t steal them!” He shouted again, “Why would we take something you would miss so badly you’re willing to kill one of us for it?”

Roman slapped his hand over his mouth and pulled him close to his chest. “V, I love you, but do you have a death wish?” he whispered in his ear.

“Was never actually gonna kill your brother, babe, just needed some answers quick,” Remy shrugged and shoved the dresser away from the wall. He crouched down to the floor and lifted his sunglasses in surprise when he spotted the earbuds. “Holy shit, they’re actually here.”

“Fantastic! Now let us go you cum-slut!” Remus screamed through the jar.

“Yes, of cour-”

“No way!” Remy cut him off.

“Remy! You got your earbuds, we’re letting the kids go now,” Thomas snapped.

“One: I’m not gonna listen to a bottom tell me what to do. Two: either way they’re a bunch of thieves, kids or not. Maybe they didn’t take my buds, but they were definitely rummaging through our drawers when we walked in and none of that stuff is theirs.”

“That was our junk drawer, there’s nothing but stuff we throw in there because we have nowhere else to put it. How about this: If you can look through that drawer and tell me three things they took from it I’ll actually consider this whole thief thing. If not, they go home, back to their parents, where they’re likely never going to bother us again.”

“Y’know what? I will. Watch me babe, you’re gonna be eating your words.” He scooped up Virgil and Roman again, which Virgil would greatly consider biting Remy’s hand if opening his eyes didn’t make him want to throw-up. They entered the kitchen again and Remy grabbed a second jar and dumped the two in there, setting them aside as he started going through the still open drawer, pushing away items with ease.

Thomas sighed heavily through his nose, he leaned against the counter and watched Remy with annoyance. The borrowers watched with bated breath as Remy muttered to himself and pulled out a few items. After a minute he shoved it all back in and slammed the drawer shut, “Alright! So I can’t figure out what they took! That doesn’t mean they didn’t take anything!”

“Oh, I’m sure they did, but it’s like- Virgil was it? It’s like Virgil said: Why take something you’d kill them over? They took things that, despite you knowing they took it, you still can’t figure out what it was they took. We would have never known they were here if we hadn’t walked through the door. So, now that we got all that out of the way, we’re letting them go.” Thomas took the two jars and slowly tilted them on their side by their hole in the wall.

Virgil and the twins wasted no time sprinting out and back into the wall, Remus slamming the door shut and latch down before following him and Roman through the walls. They could hear the beginnings of a fight coming from the humans, but they couldn’t care less.

With them all running full speed they made it back to their home in a few minutes, bursting through the door out of breath. Dad, Pa, and Logan were sitting on the couch together and there was a moment of shocked silence before Dad was up on his feet and wrapping his arms around them.

“Oh boys! I was so worried! Logan told us everything and we were just planning what to do! Oh-” He pulled back and looked at them, tears in his eyes. Then his eyes flashed with anger and Virgil ducked his head as their dad clapped Roman and Remus in the ears, they yelped as He continued, “Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again! We tell you to leave at four you leave at four, you hear me !”

“Sorry Dad.” “Sorry Dad.” Roman and Remus said one after the other.

Patton nodded sharply before his expression melted and he once again pulled them into a hug, “Oh, I’m just glad you’re okay!” 

“Indeed,” Pa said as he came over and Dad let go of them so they could hug him. “How did you boys get away?”

Remus started telling the story, which mostly resulted in Dad correcting his language a few times before Roman took over. Then it resulted in a lot of confusing scolding and praising for Virgil as their Dads were furious about him revealing himself in a dangerous situation but proud that he had successfully got them all out of the situation and back home.

The small family immediately started packing. They planned on getting out of the house and moving next door as quickly as possible, especially since last they heard Remy was still in it for them. Virgil did find himself thinking back to Thomas though, they would still be stuck if it wasn’t for him being so understanding. He almost wanted to tell him thank you, but that would never happen. They were leaving tomorrow night and this was the end of the story.


End file.
